A personal reflection and collective invitation
There comes a time — maybe more than once in a lifetime — when something inside us starts to tug. It’s not always loud. It might begin as a quiet tension. A restlessness. A subtle sense that we are no longer at peace in the life we’ve built.
Sometimes, the signs show up in the body before they ever become words — I remember recently experiencing high blood pressure, anxiety, emotional fatigue. And while those symptoms could easily be brushed aside or explained away, I knew they were pointing to something deeper.
They were telling me the truth: you are out of alignment.
And then came the deeper truth — the harder truth: I was out of integrity with myself.
Not in a moral sense, but in a soul sense. I had been making choices that no longer reflected my values. I had been staying in spaces that required me to shrink. I had been saying yes when I meant no. I was not honoring my voice. And when we stay out of integrity with ourselves for too long, something inside begins to unravel. The body tightens. The spirit grows weary. And eventually, the soul starts to pull.
That pull is sacred.
Sacred separation is not always about relationships — though it can be. It can also mean stepping away from systems, identities, environments, roles, or entire ways of being that no longer support our becoming. It’s the moment we realize that staying would cost us too much of ourselves. And so, we begin to let go — not because we are turning away from others, but because we are finally turning towards ourselves.
Surrender and Rebirth
Over the weekend, I was talking with my dear sister-friend, Octavia, about what I’ve been sitting with — the growing sense of unfulfillment in several relationships, questions around my work, and the deeper search for where I truly belong in the world. She listened with such presence — holding space with deep care — and then offered me something that landed with quiet power. A reflection that I’ve carried throughout this week.
She asked:
“What needs to be nailed to the cross?”
“What needs to be crucified?”
“And what do you choose to resurrect?”
Her questions weren’t demands. They weren’t directives. They arrived like an invitation — sacred and spacious. And they met me right where I was. Given that this conversation happened during this period of Holy Week, the metaphor felt especially palpable to me — not because of religion, but because of the symbolism it holds.
The invitation to surrender. To release. To let something come to an end, so that something more authentic can rise.
You don’t have to be Christian to feel the power of that metaphor. We all, at different points in our lives, are asked to let something go — to lay something down — in order to return to what is more true, more whole, more aligned. They gave shape to something I had been feeling but hadn’t yet named: that this moment in my life isn’t just about release — it’s also about rebirth.
Sacred separation isn’t only about walking away — it’s about making space for what’s real to emerge.
A Season of Re-Evaluation
This process has required me to take an honest look at everything — my relationships, my environment, and the systems I find myself navigating. One thing became clear: I couldn’t keep choosing what no longer reflected my truth.
This sacred separation hasn’t only been about people — it’s also been about place. I’ve written before about the discomfort I’ve experienced living in the United States at this particular juncture. The political climate, the cultural unraveling, and the systems that often feel misaligned with my values — all of it led me to start traveling, to explore other parts of the world, and to seek out environments that feel more supportive of the life I’m being called to live.
This too, is sacred separation — from what was once familiar but is no longer life-giving.
What I’m Letting Go — and What I’m Choosing
This journey has brought clarity — not always comfortable, but necessary.
Here’s what I’m consciously releasing:
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The need to be understood by everyone
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Relationships that require me to shrink or self-abandon
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Consulting projects that do not fully align with my values or are unfulfilling
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Environments that drain my energy and spirit
And here’s what I’m walking toward:
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Honest, mutual relationships
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Creative and professional work that reflects who I truly am
- A pace of life that supports my well-being and creativity
- A deeper relationship with my own integrity, values, and inner voice
A Collective Invitation
I know I’m not alone in this. So many of us — quietly, inwardly — are feeling the same tug.
That sense that something in our lives no longer fits. That we’re being called toward something more honest, more aligned, more whole. You might feel it as restlessness. As tension. As anxiety or fatigue.
You might not be able to name it yet — but you know something needs to shift.
So I invite you to pause and ask:
What in your life no longer reflects who you are?
Where are you out of alignment with your truth?
What would it look like to return to integrity with yourself — even if it meant letting go?
And if you’re standing on the edge of that knowing — I want to affirm that this path is sacred. This separation, though difficult, may be the very thing that brings you back to yourself. This is not about walking away from your life. This is about walking back into it — fully present, fully awake, and fully aligned.
You Don’t Have to Do This Alone
Sacred separation can feel tender, even disorienting at times — but you don’t have to navigate it alone.
This week, I’ve had to call upon my tribe — my spiritual practitioner and coach, a couple of sister-friends — to help me hold the weight of what I’ve been moving through. Just yesterday, I was talking with my dear sister-friend Sawitri about a relationship where I’m not feeling honored or seen. She didn’t try to fix it. She simply listened — fully and compassionately. And in her listening, I felt seen. I felt clarity begin to return.
As you move through your own season of change, I invite you to reflect:
Who in your life can you speak to honestly?
Who helps you feel safe, witnessed, and held in your becoming?
We are not meant to carry these moments alone.
Sometimes, healing doesn’t come from answers — but from being truly met. We heal in connection. Sometimes, clarity isn’t found in solitude — it’s found in conversation. In being met, and still accepted.
I’ll continue writing about this journey — about sacred separation, about discernment, about what it means to find love, belonging, and a place to live that truly feels like home. I’ll be sharing what it looks like to build a life rooted in alignment — surrounded by people who honor my values and see me clearly.
If this speaks to something in you, I hope you’ll continue walking with me.
Peace & Blessings,
Thulani
